Rebuilding Trust When It's Broken

Jesse Adams
May 20
2 min read

In our last blog, we made the case for trusting first — for choosing to lead with openness, vulnerability, and belief in your team from day one. But we know that there are times when, even with the best intentions, things don’t always go to plan.

At some point, someone will drop the ball, a deadline will be missed, or a mistake will be made. Perhaps a direct report misses an important client deadline and trust actually gets broken.

So, what happens then? Do we pull back completely? Go back to micromanaging? Write someone off as “untrustworthy”?

This is where a lot of leaders fall into the trap of overreacting, not because the situation truly deserves it, but because our own fears get triggered. The truth is, mistrust is often misdiagnosed. We're quick to assume the worst, when what's really going on might be far more nuanced: a misunderstanding, a personal challenge, a skill gap, cultural differences, or simply someone being stretched too thin.

This is where the real work of leadership comes in: rebuilding trust thoughtfully instead of reacting harshly. Because how we respond when trust is tested matters just as much — if not more — than how we extend it in the first place.

A Conversation, Not a Confrontation

When trust wavers, it’s tempting to go into problem-solving or blame mode. But what builds trust back isn’t a lecture, it’s a two-way conversation grounded in curiosity.

Try this five-step framework to rebuild trust:

Start with their perspective: Ask: How did they experience the situation?What was the real challenge for them? This creates room for understanding and opens the door for honest dialogue.
Ask if they’re open to hearing your perspective: This small step invites mutual respect. It shifts the dynamic from “I’m telling you” to “I’m sharing with you.”
Share your own experience: Be honest about how the situation impacted you or the team — without blame. Focus on what felt challenging for you and why it matters.
Align on how to move forward: Ask them: What would you want to do differently? What support might help?Then, share what you’d like to see change, and how they can help rebuild trust on your end too.
End with one clear commitment from each of you: What’s one thing you’ll each take forward? This gives both sides ownership and clarity — and signals a fresh start.

The Bottom Line

Rebuilding trust isn’t about perfection. It’s about taking responsibility, communicating with care, and being open to repair. When leaders lead with curiosity instead of judgment, they strengthen relationships rather than fracture them. And often, that process builds even stronger trust than before.

Because trust isn't just given once. It's practiced, repaired, and chosen time and time again.